Have you ever had a disaster in the kitchen? I’ve had several. Today let’s tell a few stories of disasters large and small, and your creative remedies. I’ll start:
When the Hubs and I were newly married, I decided to get all domestic and learn to use the crockpot. I made some dinner with great success by meticulously following a recipe. I decided that I had acquired Universal Knowledge regarding the crockpot, and invented another recipe the following week. Into the pot went frozen chicken, raw rice, pineapple, tapioca (??), garlic, sugar, and a variety of other spices and sauces I thought would combine nicely. I cooked it on High for about 11 hours, and it smelled delicious. I proudly opened the lid to plate my creation, and found…Brown Sludge. The texture was sticky, bumpy, and congealed. The appearance was brown, slimy, and diaper-like. No one on Earth could’ve identified the chicken vs the rice vs the tapioca blobs. The taste was a decent combination of garlic, pineapple and BBQ sauce.
I figured we’d eat it.
I served it up to my poor husband who was recovering from the flu. He manfully took a few bites and asked if we had any cereal…
Pepper Grinder Explosion:
One day, whilst trying to prepare dinner with the help of my hungry and bored 1-year-old, I handed him a couple of spice bottles, including the black pepper grinder. He immediately began to use them as drumsticks on the wooden floor, and I went about my cooking. About a week later, we had guests for dinner and I was trying out a new recipe (always a good idea…) that I hadn’t actual read (an even better idea…) It was a grilling recipe, and I was to prepare the marinade, rice, and grilled items, and the Hubs was to do the actual grilling. Because he’s awesome (and knows me well enough to panic internally when I tell him I’m trying a new recipe that I haven’t really read), he took some spices and oils out to the grill with him. About 10 minutes into the grilling, I was summoned outside. It seemed that while seasoning the vegetables, the black pepper grinder top flew off and broke into pieces of plastic all over the food. It also spilled the full measure of the bottle over the vegetables: about 6 TBS of black pepper. A bit too much for most palates… Because I’m me, I did not have extra vegetables in the house, so we couldn’t simply chuck them out and start again. After a quick conference, I headed inside and grabbed the splatter shield and the strainer. We flipped the pan of veggies onto the splatter shield, then scraped them into the strainer. After the majority of the black peppers were contained, and the overly-seasoned veggies were fed to the birds, we quietly scooped the salvageable ones back into the grill pan, and away we went.
Here are a few Quick Fixes for Cooking Disasters:
- Too spicy: Add a dairy or a sweetener: milk, sour cream, cream cheese plain greek yogurt, jam…
- Too salty: Add acid (like lemon juice – not the stuff that will kill people…)
- Meat is overcooked: Chop it up and throw it on salad or grains with sauce/dressing
- Pan fire: Fire extinguisher, but baking soda will work in a flash!
- It is an unsalvageable disaster: Salute it, throw it in the trash, pour a glass of wine and order pizza!
What are your stories? Quick fixes? Please share!
And of course, no post would be complete without a new recipe. Here’s that grill recipe I was talking about, minus the 6 TBS of black pepper…