Catching The Torch

Trials by Fire in Hostessing, Motherhood, Life


What Makes You?

What Makes You?

Hello, Mama!  How are we doing on building our sanctuaries?  Have you carved out several hours to work on it?

Bwahaha, right?  Who has that time?

One of the hardest lessons I’m still learning as a mother is the loss of control of my time. I am a teacher by trade, and a teacher’s day is scheduled down to the minute. Yes, there is a ton of work outside of the allotted school hours, but the school day is incredibly structured. I translated that structure into my personal life before kids: I walked my dog at a certain time, we had dinner at a reasonably structured time, I slept for an allotted number of hours per night, etc. Then I had kids and all of that blew up in my face. I can make a schedule and I can implement the beginnings, but the ending points are always up to the little people I created.

Sound familiar?

One thing that seems easy to accomplish for “breaks” within a day is spending time online. Obviously, I support this activity as I’m writing a blog. Online is a fantastic way to stay apprised with the parts of people’s lives that they deem good enough to share. It is not always a place to find true camaraderie or empathy. I’ve found that as a stay-at-home-mom of toddlers, I actually do have space within the day to decompress by surfing the net. Some of my “breaks” are when I put Courtis down for a nap (sitting in the rocker feeding him his bottle), getting distracted while surfing Pinterest for a recipe, getting distracted sitting in the car programming directions, etc. On days that I use that time to read funny snarky posts or scroll through “helpful” message boards that consist of moms deriding each other, I am in a grumpy mood. Shocking, I know. The days when I read only advice columns can make me feel frantic, like I’m doing everything poorly. However, when I’m able to devote this precious time of internet surfing to articles that are affirming, helpful, and creative, my day improves. To this end, I’ve found several amazing blogs about organization, decoration, and using your individual talents to help the world around you. Here are some lovely links:

Kitchen Fellowship

Interior Musings

Beginner Beans

For the Creators

Reading these blogs has helped me form and affirm my sanctuary space, and I hope you will click over to them to help build yours.

Your sanctuary is a physical space that reflects:

  1. Your favorite place in the world
  2. The activity that makes you YOU
  3. How you regain balance


Favorite Place in the World

  1. Where is your favorite place in the world? It’s easy to say platitudes like “home,” “where my family is,” etc., but truly. What is YOUR favorite physical place on the planet?
  2. Imagine yourself there
  3. Are you sitting? Standing? Lying down? Moving? How?
  4. What do you see?
  5. What colors stand out? Specifically, what about those colors? Bright or dull? If they were crayons, what would you name them?
  6. What do you smell?
  7. What is the light like?
  8. What do you hear?


The Activity that Makes You You

  1. When they’re in college, you want your kids to say, “I always remember Mom doing _______.”
  2. If your kids have confidence _________, you will be happy. (Health and values are out – this is an activity)
  3. What activity gives you peace, engages your brain, and allows you do work out emotions?


How You Regain Balance

  1. Ever taken a Mommy Time-Out? What did you do?
  2. Are you spiritual? What parts of your religion give you hope and strength?
  3. When you wake up sore, do you stretch? How?
  4. What physical activity do you enjoy? Truly enjoy?
  5. What part of the day/routine drives you absolutely nuts?


Please share some of your answers!  I’ll share mine next time as we explore ways to transform our answers into an actual space.  What inspires you? What makes you YOU?  Let’s inspire each other!

(This post is one of a series.  Feel free to check out Mama’s Sanctuary and Creating a Sanctuary if you are in need of some context. : ) )