“Quel désastre!”

Have you ever had a disaster in the kitchen?  I’ve had several.  Today let’s tell a few stories of disasters large and small, and your creative remedies.  I’ll start:

 

Brown Sludge:

When the Hubs and I were newly married, I decided to get all domestic and learn to use the crockpot.  I made some dinner with great success by meticulously  following a recipe.  I decided that I had acquired Universal Knowledge regarding the crockpot, and invented another recipe the following week.  Into the pot went frozen chicken, raw rice, pineapple, tapioca (??), garlic, sugar, and a variety of other spices and sauces I thought would combine nicely.  I cooked it on High for about 11 hours, and it smelled delicious.  I proudly opened the lid to plate my creation, and found…Brown Sludge.  The texture was sticky, bumpy, and congealed. The appearance was brown, slimy, and diaper-like.  No one on Earth could’ve identified the chicken vs the rice vs the tapioca blobs.  The taste was a decent combination of garlic, pineapple and BBQ sauce.

I figured we’d eat it.

I served it up to my poor husband who was recovering from the flu.  He manfully took a few bites and asked if we had any cereal…

 

Pepper Grinder Explosion:

One day, whilst trying to prepare dinner with the help of my hungry and bored 1-year-old, I handed him a couple of spice bottles, including the black pepper grinder.  He immediately began to use them as drumsticks on the wooden floor, and I went about my cooking.  About a week later, we had guests for dinner and I was trying out a new recipe (always a good idea…) that I hadn’t actual read (an even better idea…)  It was a grilling recipe, and I was to prepare the marinade, rice, and grilled items, and the Hubs was to do the actual grilling.  Because he’s awesome (and knows me well enough to panic internally when I tell him I’m trying a new recipe that I haven’t really read), he took some spices and oils out to the grill with him.  About 10 minutes into the grilling, I was summoned outside.  It seemed that while seasoning the vegetables, the black pepper grinder top flew off and broke into pieces of plastic all over the food.  It also spilled the full measure of the bottle over the vegetables: about 6 TBS of black pepper.  A bit too much for most palates…  Because I’m me, I did not have extra vegetables in the house, so we couldn’t simply chuck them out and start again.  After a quick conference, I headed inside and grabbed the splatter shield and the strainer.  We flipped the pan of veggies onto the splatter shield, then scraped them into the strainer.  After the majority of the black peppers were contained, and the overly-seasoned veggies were fed to the birds, we quietly scooped the salvageable ones back into the grill pan, and away we went.

 

Here are a few Quick Fixes for Cooking Disasters:

1. Too spicy: Add a dairy or a sweetener: milk, sour cream, cream cheese plain greek yogurt, jam…
2. Too salty: Add acid (like lemon juice – not the stuff that will kill people…)
3. Meat is overcooked: Chop it up and throw it on salad or grains with sauce/dressing
4. Pan fire: Fire extinguisher, but baking soda will work in a flash!
5. It is an unsalvageable disaster: Salute it, throw it in the trash, pour a glass of wine and order pizza!

What are your stories?  Quick fixes?  Please share!

And of course, no post would be complete without a new recipe.  Here’s that grill recipe I was talking about, minus the 6 TBS of black pepper…

Grill-tastic Dinner for a Crowd

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Room of One’s Own: The Guest Quarters

When we moved to the South, we looked for a home that had a room reserved for guests.  We knew we’d be hosting family, friends, and pilgrims on their journey to Disney World.  Our guest room is in the basement, and it was my job to fit it out in preparation of our first booking.  I blocked a week off of my schedule, and hopped over to Restoration Hardware to purchase everything I would need.

Bwahahaha!.  No.  I had a budget of $0.00 and one week worth of naptimes to complete this project.  If you are not familiar with Mom-time, this was between 0-10 hours.

This, like scrappy dinners, is my favorite kind of project:  It takes creativity, ingenuity, and using what you have.  I loved this challenge.  And I must say, no one has complained.  The best thing I had on my side for this was boxes of random pictures, knickknacks, and other accouterments of life tucked away.  My dad has this axiom regarding “stuff”:  When in Doubt, Throw it Out.

My axiom is: When in Doubt: Stuff it in a Box and Put it Away For Later.

If you don’t have boxes of stuff, use your imagination!  Steal things from other rooms that are crowding or just don’t go. I’m sure you can fit out your guest space in a way that will make everyone proud.

A Place to Lay Your Head:

We had inherited an old king bed that I insisted on carting around with us from house to house.  It quickly became our guest bed.  When our old master-bedroom comforter tore and we wanted to buy a new one, I sewed it up, threw it in the washer, and up-cycled it as guest linen.

I did not have extra sham pillow inserts for the old bedding set, and buying new ones did not fit into my budget of $0.00.  I did, however, have several old regular bed pillows.  I stuffed them into the sham covers and wiggled and beat them until they looked respectable.

I also borrowed a few extra couch pillows that matched-ish to make the bed pretty.

Furnishings:

I brainstormed what might be the barest of necessities I might enjoy while sleeping away from home.  I came up with:

1. A place to put my glasses and book
2. A reading light
3. A trash can
4. A place to put my clothes

I decided our guest room would provide:

1. Old, mis-matched lamps were spray-painted and put in appropriate places
2. Side tables came in the form of one hand-me-down actual bedside table and an old, particle board couch side table from my husband’s bachelor apartment.
3. Done.
4. An old dresser and a spare giant ottoman from a very old chair to use as suitcase holder.

Next I brainstormed what I might love in a fancy hotel:

1. Room service
2. A claw-foot tub
3. Chocolates on my pillow
4. Bottles of water
5. Information about the place I was visiting
6. Laundry service
7. A Butler

Here’s what our guests will enjoy based on that list:

1. No.
2. Wouldn’t it be great?
3. There are M&M’s in the cupboard.  Go crazy.
4. Yes!!  In a wicker basket that I found in the basement and pulled some Christmas felt thing off of
5. Back issues of Southern Living, our latest town newspaper, and any novels I have that are set in the South.  With the water bottles in the wicker basket
6. A laundry basket and a tutorial about how to use the washer/dryer
7. No.

Decor:

• Pull pictures and posters from your life and lay them all out on the living room floor.  Cobble together a set that goes with your linens
• Take pictures of the native landscape or flowers.  Print and frame them in your best 8×10, black, repaired with black Sharpie frames.
• Any little sign with welcoming words or blessings.  You can always print and frame one!  My favorite is the Irish Blessing:

May the roads rise up to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

And the rain fall soft upon your fields.

Until we meet again, my friend,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

“Headboard”/Statement Piece

If a bed is in the center of the room, everything looks better with a headboard or a giant picture.  I do not have a spare headboard.  I also did not have the budget to DIY a headboard out of plywood and stuffing like they do on HGTV.  I didn’t even have a giant picture – all my big stuff was already in the main living space.

What I did have was a few yards of extra curtain material and a hideous print of geraniums in a pink plastic frame that was left behind at our old house.  It was huge.  It was ugly.  I got a ton of grief from everyone because I insisted on dragging in across the country.

Boy am I glad I did!  Here’s how I made my “Statement Piece”:

1. Got out my kids’ finger paint and mixed until I got a nice brown.
2. Used a dinosaur paint sponge to apply paint to ugly pink plastic frame
3. Let frame dry
4. Cut fabric to fit inside frame, leaving enough on the edges to “fold” so raw edges weren’t exposed
5. Fit fabric inside of frame
6. Hammered a few nails and stuck it on the wall.

If you have a big frame, or several smaller ones, fabric is cheap and very easy to work with.  My only tip is never go to JoAnn’s without a coupon – there is always a coupon.

My guest room is a work in progress: projects down the line include paint and curtains made from old curtains.  However, we’ve loved hosting guests in their own little space, and sharing with them a bit of our lives and the place we call home.

Truly, with some spare furniture, a budget of $0.00 and not a whole lot of time, you can make a cozy, welcoming space for your guests.  This can apply if your guests are sleeping in guest suites or on air-mattresses in the office or on the couch.  Let’s summarize:

The Necessary:

• Pillow
• Sheets
• Blanket
• Sleeping surface
• Towels
• Place for iPhone, book, glasses, etc
• Place to tuck away personal belongings and clothes

The Niceties:

• Bottles of water or glasses and a carafe
• Extra iStuff cord and the WiFi password
• Reading material, especially pertaining to your slice of the Earth
• Trash Can
• Laundry Basket
• Place to hang anything they might need to hang
• A welcoming verse, poem, or picture

For extra fun, here’s scrappy dinner recipe to go with the scrappy guest-room.  A few fridge ingredients are gussied up for a dinner that is lovely for guests or as a personal reward:

Lovely Tarragon Pasta

 

Ooh La La Frittata

Truly, there is no kitchen creativity I love more than transforming miscellaneous ingredients into a fabulous meal.  This has resulted in brilliance and disaster.  Ask the Hubs about the infamous Brown Sludge… Luckily, the following recipes lean more toward the delicious side of the spectrum.

This one may not please some who don’t enjoy having “breakfast” for dinner, but it has protein, veggies, cheese, and you’ll serve it with salad and bread, so I say it counts.

This one will get rid of your spare half-cut veggies.  Peppers, mushrooms, peas, and/or onions will all shine in this dish.  Celery, carrots, lettuce, maybe not.  Tomatoes will get mushy, but maybe you like that sort of thing.  The original recipe calls for bacon and perhaps you have some left over.  However, you can chop up any extra lunch meat and substitute that as well.   Technically, this is a breakfast or brunch item, but as I stated in Some Like it Hot: Breakfast Solutions, I never would have time to make it in the morning.

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 TBS butter
• 8 slices bacon, ham, or other lunch meat (chopped)
• 1 cup chopped veggies
• A few basil leaves, torn
• 8 large eggs, beaten
• 5 oz goat cheese (thickly sliced)
• Salt and Pepper
• Grated Parmesan (or other hard cheese)
• Large handful of arugula leaves (or leafy salad)
• Balsamic Vinaigrette dressing

Method:

Preheat your oven to Broil.  Melt butter in a large (preferably non-stick) skillet.  Cook the meat until brown and crisp.  Toss in the veggies and cook for another minute or two, then add the basil.

Beat the eggs and pour them into the skillet.  Gently shake skillet over medium heat.  Frittata will begin to set at the bottom.  Top with goat cheese.  Arrange your slices nicely.  Season generously with salt and pepper.

Sprinkle grated parmesan over frittata and place pan under the hot broiler for a minute or two until the eggs are set on top.  PUT AN OVEN MITT ON YOUR HAND.  Remove pa and oh-so-carefully slide frittata onto a large plate.  Lightly dress arugula leaves with vinaigrette, then pile on top of the frittata.  Cut into wedges and serve with crust bread.

For more ideas, see Leftovers: Scraping Together the Scraps of Your Party

Lemon-Garlic Pasta with Leftover Chicken

Truly, there is no kitchen creativity I love more than transforming miscellaneous ingredients into a fabulous meal.  This has resulted in brilliance and disaster.  Ask the Hubs about the infamous Brown Sludge… Luckily, the following recipes lean more toward the delicious side of the spectrum.

This recipe will use any leftover chicken from Chicken Slop, Orange Chicken, or Thai Chicken Salad. Of course, you can cook chicken, but that adds time and effort, and who wants that?  It also uses any lemons you bought for drinks, or hard cheeses you bought for your cheese board appetizer or Ploughman’s Lunch.  The obsequious green bottle of parmesan you probably have in your fridge works perfectly.

Prep time: 5 minutes   Cook time: 15 minutes   Total Time: 20 minutes.  Serves 4

Ingredients:

• Box of spaghetti noodles
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 2 T lemon juice (or juice from 2 lemons)
• 2 tsp minced garlic
• 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
• Left over chicken breast, shredded (or shredded rotisserie chicken)

Method:

Cook pasta.  Combine oil, lemon juice, and garlic in a bowl; mix well.  Season with salt and pepper.  Heat in microwave 2 minutes.  Warm up chicken in microwave.  Combine pasta, flavored oil, and chicken.  Stir in parmesan cheese.  Serve with leftover salad.  Tip, this goes very well with a good green salad with blueberries, roasted pecans, and poppyseed dressing.

For more ideas, see Leftovers: Scraping Together the Scraps of Your Party

 

Leftovers – Scraping Together the Scraps of Your Party

It’s over, you’ve done it.  You’ve cooked the last meal, cleaned the last dish, and waved the last guest on their way.  You shared fun, conversation, experiences, and of course, great food.  Your home was warm, simple, friendly, and welcoming.  You navigated any unexpected drama with ease and grace (or went to scream quietly in another room). Time to relax in bask in the sweet feeling of success.  Enjoy it.

Time’s up – people are hungry again.

Here’s the thing.  Your refrigerator contains nothing but the cast-offs and crumbs of your beautiful feast.  Random vegetables, half-used hunks of cheese, a spare chicken breast that wasn’t used, a whole lot of eggs.   Making another meal means another trip to the grocery store and nobody wants to go:  your bank account doesn’t want to go, your car doesn’t want to go, and your exhausted self doesn’t want to go.  Luckily, you can whip up a few pretty delicious meals with the scraps of your hostessing achievement.  These are great dishes to treat yourself, save grocery budget, and put off the dreaded store trip for a few more days.  The following recipes use ingredients that will most likely be left over from the recipes given in this series, but I’ll include easy substitutes for every day.

Truly, there is no kitchen creativity I love more than transforming miscellaneous ingredients into a fabulous meal.  This has resulted in brilliance and disaster.  Ask the Hubs about the infamous Brown Sludge… Luckily, the following recipes lean more toward the delicious side of the spectrum.

Lemon-Garlic Pasta with Leftover Chicken

This recipe will use any leftover chicken from Chicken Slop, Orange Chicken, or Thai Chicken Salad. Of course, you can cook chicken, but that adds time and effort, and who wants that?  It also uses any lemons you bought for drinks, or hard cheeses you bought for your cheese board appetizer or Ploughman’s Lunch.  The obsequious green bottle of parmesan you probably have in your fridge works perfectly.

Prep time: 5 minutes   Cook time: 15 minutes   Total Time: 20 minutes.  Serves 4

Ingredients:

• Box of spaghetti noodles
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 2 T lemon juice (or juice from 2 lemons)
• 2 tsp minced garlic
• 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
• Left over chicken breast, shredded (or shredded rotisserie chicken)

Method:

Cook pasta.  Combine oil, lemon juice, and garlic in a bowl; mix well.  Season with salt and pepper.  Heat in microwave 2 minutes.  Warm up chicken in microwave.  Combine pasta, flavored oil, and chicken.  Stir in parmesan cheese.  Serve with leftover salad.  Tip, this goes very well with a good green salad with blueberries, roasted pecans, and poppyseed dressing.

Ooh La La Frittata

This one may not please some who don’t enjoy having “breakfast” for dinner, but it has protein, veggies, cheese, and you’ll serve it with salad and bread, so I say it counts.

This one will get rid of your spare half-cut veggies.  Peppers, mushrooms, peas, and/or onions will all shine in this dish.  Celery, carrots, lettuce, maybe not.  Tomatoes will get mushy, but maybe you like that sort of thing.  The original recipe calls for bacon and perhaps you have some left over.  However, you can chop up any extra lunch meat and substitute that as well.   Technically, this is a breakfast or brunch item, but as I stated in Some Like it Hot: Breakfast Solutions, I never would have time to make it in the morning.

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 TBS butter
• 8 slices bacon, ham, or other lunch meat (chopped)
• 1 cup chopped veggies
• A few basil leaves, torn
• 8 large eggs, beaten
• 5 oz goat cheese (thickly sliced)
• Salt and Pepper
• Grated Parmesan (or other hard cheese)
• Large handful of arugula leaves (or leafy salad)
• Balsamic Vinaigrette dressing

Method:

Preheat your oven to Broil.  Melt butter in a large (preferably non-stick) skillet.  Cook the meat until brown and crisp.  Toss in the veggies and cook for another minute or two, then add the basil.

Beat the eggs and pour them into the skillet.  Gently shake skillet over medium heat.  Frittata will begin to set at the bottom.  Top with goat cheese.  Arrange your slices nicely.  Season generously with salt and pepper.

Sprinkle grated parmesan over frittata and place pan under the hot broiler for a minute or two until the eggs are set on top.  PUT AN OVEN MITT ON YOUR HAND.  Remove pa and oh-so-carefully slide frittata onto a large plate.  Lightly dress arugula leaves with vinaigrette, then pile on top of the frittata.  Cut into wedges and serve with crust bread.

And there you go.  Brava and Bravo, good friends.  You are brilliant.

Lady Katy’s Bread Pudding

4-6 servings

Prep time: 15 minutes.  Rest time: 1 1/2 hours  Cook time: 1 hour  Total time: ~3 hours

Ingredients:

• 1 loaf of English Muffin bread, cubed in thick cubes (4 cups) (You can substitute any bread; baguette, cinnamon raisin bread are also delicious.
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
• 3/4 cup whole milk
• 2 cups heavy cream
• 4 large eggs, beaten
• 1 TBS maple syrup
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp nutmeg
• 1 tsp kosher salt
• 2 tsp vanilla extract

Method:

Preheat oven to 350*  In an 8-inch square pan, toast cubed bread in the middle of the oven until bread is crisp but not golden, about 5-7 minutes.  Mix melted butter in with bread, tossing to coat bread completely.  In a medium bowl, whisk together milk, cream, eggs, maple syrup, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, and vanilla.  Pour over bread, stirring to coat.  Cover and chill pudding at least 1 1/2 hours.  Bake pudding in middle of oven until it just sets but still trembles slightly, about 50-55 minutes.  Serve warm or at room temperature.

Adapted from “The Unofficial Downton Abbey Cookbook” by Emily Ansara Baines

Dinner en Famille

Finally, we come to the final performance of a guest visit: The Dinner.  I’m sure you have a dinner or two up your sleeve that you love to make, and I do too.  Sometimes however, my favorite recipes are time-consuming make for a crowd.  Or someone doesn’t like an element, or I feel like it’s boring, etc.   Today I’m going to leave the creativity to the memory of one of the most creative people I’ve been privileged to know:  my grandmother Mimi.  I pass along two wonderful Dinner en Famille recipes from Mimi’s kitchen.

Mimi was an amazing woman.  Imaginative, kind, never knew a stranger, and a lover of our family’s English heritage.  Once while babysitting my brother and me (as well as a flock of neighborhood children), she allowed us to paint her entire face blue, made a full High Tea as a snack, and went out to chat with the mailman still looking like an extra from Braveheart.  She taught us to build fairy-houses in the woods, stay still long enough to catch dragonflies on our fingers, and play Phantom of the Opera on the stereo LOUD.  She kept a portrait of Queen Elizabeth in her china cabinet as well as every picture of her grandchildren and the children of her friends ever sent to her on the fridge.  Many of my dishes, teacups, and assorted serving pieces were from her ever-growing collection of antiques.  She loved buying interesting items and immediately handing them down to us.  One Christmas, she couldn’t serve her punch because she had given all three of her punch ladles to us grandkids.  She was a woman who took us all to see The Phantom of the Opera (I was the oldest at 9) to which she was talked out of wearing wearing a green bridesmaid gown from the 80’s paired with a blue velvet cape.  She invested her time and interest in those around her, and was a constant supporter of her children and grandchildren.  Mimi was fun, dramatic, and completely unembarrassed to be herself.

It is this spirit that embodies her signature dish: Chicken Slop.  Now, ever a stickler for propriety, she is probably shrieking from Heaven that I am calling this dish by its nickname rather than “Chicken Casserole.” (“Oh!  What would the Queen say!!”)  Somewhere along the line, it was renamed Chicken Slop and the nickname was solidified by a little ditty my cousin and I created for it when we were children.  In the throes of rainy-day boredom in an Up North summer, we heard that Chicken Slop was being made for dinner and wanted to see how much we could get away with.  Pilfering dishes, spoons, and dishtowels as props, we choreographed a song and dance to the tune of The Blue Danube.  Every word of the song was Chicken Slop.  It went a little something like this, “Chicken chicken chicken chicken, slop slop!  Slop slop!”  and continued through the entirety of the waltz.  We presented our performance as a pre-dinner show to the family.  As no grandchild could do wrong in Mimi’s eyes, we got away with our making fun and the Chicken Slop Song has remained in family lore ever since.

(I consider it a testament to our raising that we knew all 9 minutes of The Blue Danube Waltz by heart)

Chicken Casserole, or as it will forever be known in my family, Chicken Slop, is one of the best meals for a crowd I have made.  Everyone loves it, it’s just different enough, and it is filling.  Embodying the spirit of my late grandmother Mimi, it is interesting, a little eccentric, and exceedingly warming to the soul.  Viewer Warning:  This recipe contains 2 ingredients my generation of cooks despise as much as they love quinoa and kale: Butter and Cream of Chicken Soup.  Is this recipe low-fat?  Absolutely not.  Is it an economically delicious treat for a crowd.  A thousand times yes.

Chicken Slop

Ingredients:

8 boneless chicken breasts

2 cups of rice\

4 T butter plus 1 stick of butter

1 can Cream of Chicken soup

10 oz fat-free sour cream,

1 small can of diced green chiles

1 can of water chestnuts

1/2 cup sliced almonds

3 sliced hard-boiled eggs

1 can French-fried onions

Salt, pepper, and thyme

Method:

Preheat oven to 375*  Bake chicken for 30 minutes in a 13×9 pan with a little water.  Cover tightly with foil.  Cool.

Cook rice with 3 cups of water (or chicken broth) and 4 T butter

In a big casserole dish, mix can of soup, sour cream, green chiles, almonds, water chestnuts, and eggs.  Cut up cooled chicken.  Add chicken and cooked rice to casserole, mix well.  Add salt, pepper, and thyme.  Melt a stick of butter and pour it over the top of slop, then add entire can of french-fried onion rings.

Bake 50 minutes at 350*

Serve with a big salad and crusty bread.

Orange Chicken

If this recipe were a piece of clothing, it would be your favorite pair of jeans.  It goes with anything, meets any occasion, you can dress it up or down, and it makes you feel wonderful.  And it’s easy.  I make this almost every week, and it’s my go-to if I’m delivering a meal to a neighbor or new parents.  I’ve also dolled it up to serve for big family dinners.  I haven’t met anyone, including my picky toddlers, who won’t eat Orange Chicken.

This is also Mimi’s recipe, and she was quite proud of it.  What would the Queen say?  I believe she would say it is delicious.

Ingredients:

6 chicken breasts

2 cups of rice

1 stick of butter

2 T flour

2 T sugar

1/2 tsp ground mustard

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp ground ginger

2-3 cups of orange juice

Salt and Pepper

An orange, sliced.

Method:

Boil your rice according to package directions.  Melt butter in a large frying pan.  Pat chicken dry and season with salt and pepper.  Brown chicken on both sides (cook in batches to avoid over-crowding).  Remove to plate.  Stir in spices and flour and cook over low heat until it forms a smooth paste.  Gradually stir in orange juice, stirring constantly.  Bring to a full boil.  Place chicken back in pan (you can squish them together now) and drape some sauce to cover chicken.  Turn heat to low, cover, and cook for 20 minutes.  Remove one breast, check doneness.

Arrange for table:

Weeknight dinner:

• Individual platings: Rice, chicken breast on top, drizzle sauce over both
• Sauce in a gravy boat

Fancy dinner:

• Rice in covered serving dish with a pat of butter in middle
• Chicken arranged nicely on plate, drizzle sauce over
• Slice orange, then, make a cut in middle of orange through one part of rind.  Twist orange slices into S shape and arrange on chicken
• Sauce in gravy boat because people with LOVE it.

As a Meal-On-Wheels:

• Buy a square disposable foil pan with lid
• Pour in rice and stir in all but a little sauce until fully mixed
• Arrange chicken on top, drizzle sauce
• Place 3 flat orange slices in middle

Mimi always served this with steamed broccoli, but a salad is easy and crowd-pleasing.  This recipe also freezes well.

I apologize for the skipped week, but this little girl came into our family last Friday and I’ve been a bit consumed.

Lucy, our 8-week-old lab/shepherd/hound puppy

It is my best intention to present an Encore: le dessert, next week.

Make What You Love – Lunch for the Masses

We just finished breakfast and we’re cooking again??  Yes, friends.  It’s lunch time.

For some reason, when I have guests, lunch seems to catch me off guard.  I’m so busy de-thawing my pastries and planning dinners suited to everyone’s tastes that I forget my guests need to eat a midday meal.  Also, I feel like I haven’t even gotten the breakfast mess cleared up before it’s 11:30 and people (my children) are starting to get hangry.

Lunch exists within people’s unique daily routine.  It’s a meal to eat what you like, catered exclusively to your tastes and diet.  It may be one of the only breaks in your day, or at the very least, a prelude to a break.   Some people eat at their desks, some eat with co-workers.  Some eat in the company of their favorite novel. Nearly no one in our day and age takes lunch as a sit-down meal with family.  Personally, I like to eat at around 2:00 p.m. by myself because as a stay-at-home-parent of toddlers, I find it vital to my humanity to have one meal that I am not supervising and/or wearing.    Considering all of this, planning lunch for a crowd is oddly challenging.

The answer to this challenge is to make what you love.  (And make it ahead of time.)  It will be impossible to cater to everyone’s normal lunchtime routine, and they are at your house to visit you, so present them with a little bit of yourself!  (No cannibalism necessary…)  Personally, my favorite lunches are mess salads and leftovers.  Because it’s pretty weird to serve your guests last week’s casserole, today I present Grandma’s Mac & Cheese and Thai Chicken Salad for a Crowd.  Bonus no-cook “recipe” is the Ploughman’s Lunch, American style

Another thing to remember about lunch is that everyone enjoys a little downtime afterwards (including you).  It’s been a lot of togetherness and people (including you) will very much appreciate some time to do their thing.  Pass out the WiFi password, point people to your magazines and books, hand over the remote, make sure there are blankets for those who want to rest their eyes, and let everyone go to their corners for an hour or two (including you).

Grandma’s Mac and Cheese

My Grandma is an amazing woman – strong, generous, comforting, and wonderful.  She would give her life for every family member and skin the hide off of anyone who crossed them.  The vast belief she has in those she loves, and the quiet expectation that they will be the best version of themselves has been encouragement beyond measure, and has shaped who I am.  I can only hope I have inherited the iron backbone, limitless love, shrewd smarts, and capacity for kindness that are the hallmarks of the Young women.

It is only appropriate that this wholly comforting, stick-to-your-belly, no-nonsense, wonderful recipe is handed down from her.

Grandma’s Mac & Cheese

Serves 6-8

~Can be prepped before: Prep time: 20 minutes  Bake time: 50 minutes  Total time: 1 hour, 10 minutes

Ingredients:

• 1 lb shredded sharp cheddar cheese*
• 4 TBS butter
• 1/4 to 1/2 cup milk
• Ketchup – a couple of squirts
• 1 small box of macaroni noodles
• 4 slices of bread, buttered on both sides and cubed

Method:

Preheat oven to 325*

Put first 4 ingredients into a medium saucepan and cook over medium low heat until cheese is melted and sauce is pretty smooth.  Stir often**

While the cheese sauce is melting, bring water to a boil in a large saucepan and cook noodles according to package directions.  Do not overcook as they will continue to cook in the oven.  Drain and set aside.

Pour noodles into a casserole dish.  Stir in cheese sauce, arrange croutons over top.  Bake uncovered for 50-60 minutes***

Goes beautifully with a big fresh salad and baked sausage

Baked Sausage:

Ingredients:

• Smoked Sausage (1/4 lb per guest)
• BBQ Sauce

Method:

Cut up sausage.  Put in oven-safe dish.  Pour BBQ sauce over top.  Bake in oven with Mac & Cheese

*Do not, I repeat do NOT try to substitute mild cheddar or low-fat cheese in this recipe.  It will bake into a disgusting, gum-like consistency.  I know, I know… butter, full-fat cheese… I watch what I eat too.  Take a nice scoop of this real-deal Mac & Cheese and fill the rest of your plate with salad.  It’s worth it and one scoop does not contain all the butter.  It’s okay.

**Seriously, low heat and stirring is the key.  So many times I cooked it too long/too high and the oil separated from the cheese.  If that happens, whisk it back in.  You do need the fat for the cheese to bake properly.  See above.

***You can prep this up to 4 days before serving.  Don’t bake it.  Take it out of the fridge while you’re making breakfast and put it in the oven an hour before lunch.

Thai Chicken Salad

Serves 6-8

Total Time: 20 minutes (35 minutes extra if you are cooking chicken beforehand)

Ingredients:

For Salad

• 4 chicken breasts, cooked and sliced*
• 1 cup cucumber, chopped
• 1/4 cup mint
• 1 cup mango, chopped
• 1 red chili pepper
• 1/2 cup spanish peanuts, regular peanuts or slivered almonds
• 1 bag broccoli slaw
• 2 small bok choy OR 2 heads romaine lettuce, chopped into small strips

For Sauce

• 1 tsp fish sauce**
• Juice from 2 limes (or 2 TBS lime juice)
• 1 TBS honey
• 2 TBS peanut butter
• 2 TBS soy sauce
• 1 pinch red pepper flakes
• 2 TBS Olive Oil

Egg Rolls

• Your favorite frozen egg rolls.  I like Tei Pei Vegetable Egg Rolls

Method:

If you are serving egg rolls, turn on oven and bake according to package directions (they will take about 20 minutes)

Mix all sauce ingredients in a large bowl.  Experiment with taste.  Add water or oil if you think you need more dressing.  Heat in microwave just before serving.  Serve in a syrup pitcher, gravy boat, or salad dressing bottle

Mix lettuce, bok choy, slaw, and mint*** and put in a large salad bowl.  Put all other ingredients in little bowls with spoons.  Serve salad-bar style (This way, if people don’t care for a certain ingredients, they can skip them.  You can put out your other bottled dressings as well.)

*Up to 4 days ahead, prepare chicken breasts.  Put chicken breasts in a 8 x 8 glass dish.  Sprinkle with ginger, garlic powder, salt, and pepper.  Pour a little bit (1/4-1/2 cup) of chicken broth on bottom of dish.  Bake uncovered in a 350* oven for 35 minutes.  Cut one to check for doneness (no pink).  To serve, cut into thin slices and arrange in circles on a salad plate.  Place some cherry tomatoes, grapes, cucumber slices or something in the middle since a plate of cold beige meat can look pretty gross.  OR, buy a rotisserie chicken and shred it.

** “Katy, I don’t have fish sauce.  I don’t even know what it is.”  I didn’t either.  You’ll find it in the Asian section of your grocery store.  Pick up a bottle, as well as a bottle of Sriracha chili sauce and you’ll never have buy one of those little stir-fry spice packets again.

*** “Crap!  I forgot the mint!!”  It’s fine.  I have too and the salad still tastes great.  The mint just adds a depth of flavor and cools off the spices.  Try to remember the lime juice though if that’s not a staple in your fridge.

Ploughman’s Lunch, American Style

Traditionally, Ploughman’s Lunch was a term for an English midday snack consisting of cheese, bread, and chutney.  Meat was soon added as were boiled eggs and pickled onions.

What we’re about to do is more of a deli spread, but “Ploughman’s Lunch” sounds so much more fun.

Ingredients:

• Lunchmeat: 1/4 lb per person per lunch*
• Bread: 1 loaf per lunch per 6 people
• Sliced cheese
• Romaine lettuce
• Hot house tomatoes
• Other sandwich toppings you love
• Condiments (pickles, mayo, mustard, chutney, etc.)
• Chips
• Sliced stone fruit (apples, peaches, etc.)

Method:

Arrange meat and cheese on a plate.   If you’re concerned with making it look pretty, fold slices of meat in half and arrange in a semi-circle, folded edge out.  Arrange cheese similarly, no folding.  Rule of thumb: in home decor, neutral colors look good.  In food decor, neutral colors (brown, beige, cream) look gross.  Always add a pop of color (in this case, yellow and orange cheeses) to a plate of beige food.

Slice tomatoes and lettuce and place on a plate.  If you’re getting fancy, salt and pepper your tomatoes.

Set out bread, toaster.  Set out condiments.

Put out chips (in bowl if you want) and fruit on plate.

Invite everyone to help themselves.

*I cut cost corners whenever I can.  One of the only times I buy the pricey stuff is when it comes to lunchmeat.  I really like Boarshead at my grocers deli counter.  At about $1.50 more per pound than the store brands, it actually doesn’t cost that much more and is soooooo much better.  No slime, no weirdness, great flavor.

If you don’t know what to buy for your crowd, stick to basics and variety:  Smoked ham, smoked turkey, and a third wildcard (salami, roast something, spicy something – ask for a recommendation)  Same goes with cheeses (Mild white, mild yellow, and wildcard (Swiss, Pepperjack)

See!  You’ve done it!  You’ve served lunch and gotten to eat something you love!  Now go take your much deserved siesta before we return for Dinner.

What is your favorite everyday lunch?  What would you eat for lunch if you could have anything?

Grandma’s Mac and Cheese

My Grandma is an amazing woman – strong, generous, comforting, and wonderful.  She would give her life for every family member and skin the hide off of anyone who crossed them.  The vast belief she has in those she loves, and the quiet expectation that they will be the best version of themselves has been encouragement beyond measure, and has shaped who I am.  I can only hope I have inherited the iron backbone, limitless love, shrewd smarts, and capacity for kindness that are the hallmarks of the Young women.

It is only appropriate that this wholly comforting, stick-to-your-belly, no-nonsense, wonderful recipe is handed down from her.

Grandma’s Mac & Cheese

Serves 6-8

~Can be prepped before: Prep time: 20 minutes  Bake time: 50 minutes  Total time: 1 hour, 10 minutes

Ingredients:

• 1 lb shredded sharp cheddar cheese*
• 4 TBS butter
• 1/4 to 1/2 cup milk
• Ketchup – a couple of squirts
• 1 small box of macaroni noodles
• 4 slices of bread, buttered on both sides and cubed

Method:

Preheat oven to 325*

Put first 4 ingredients into a medium saucepan and cook over medium low heat until cheese is melted and sauce is pretty smooth.  Stir often**

While the cheese sauce is melting, bring water to a boil in a large saucepan and cook noodles according to package directions.  Do not overcook as they will continue to cook in the oven.  Drain and set aside.

Pour noodles into a casserole dish.  Stir in cheese sauce, arrange croutons over top.  Bake uncovered for 50-60 minutes**

Goes beautifully with a big fresh salad and baked sausage

Baked Sausage:

Ingredients:

• Smoked Sausage (1/4 lb per guest)
• BBQ Sauce

Method:

Cut up sausage.  Put in oven-safe dish.  Pour BBQ sauce over top.  Bake in oven with Mac & Cheese

*Do not, I repeat do NOT try to substitute mild cheddar or low-fat cheese in this recipe.  It will bake into a disgusting, gum-like consistency.  I know, I know… butter, full-fat cheese… I watch what I eat too.  Take a nice scoop of this real-deal Mac & Cheese and fill the rest of your plate with salad.  It’s worth it and one scoop does not contain all the butter.  It’s okay.

**Seriously, low heat and stirring is the key.  So many times I cooked it too long/too high and the oil separated from the cheese.  If that happens, whisk it back in.  You do need the fat for the cheese to bake properly.  See above.

***You can prep this up to 4 days before serving.  Don’t bake it.  Take it out of the fridge while you’re making breakfast and put it in the oven an hour before lunch.

For more lunch ideas, see Make What You Love – Lunch for the Masses

No-Cook Butler Breakfast

Have overnight guests but no time to cook?  Maybe you need to leave for work, maybe they have an itinerary.  Maybe you are a stay-at-home-parent and your mornings are insane.  This is a graceful solution that can be prepared the night before and served without you.

Prep time: 15 minutes  Cook time: 0 minutes  Total time: 15 minutes

Ingredients:

• Large container of yogurt
• Assorted seasonal, regional fruit: melons, oranges, grapes, berries
• Loaf of bread
• Store-bought pastry
• Butter
• Jam
• Peanut Butter
• Cute medium bowl, cute large bowl, cute plate, tray, butter dish

Directions:

Pour yogurt into cute medium bowl.  Cover with plastic wrap.  Set on tray.  Chop and peel fruit as needed.  Layer in cute large bowl like so: Melon, Oranges, grapes.  Toss slightly.  Add berries to top.  (Make best use of pricey berries by buying one small package and presenting on top.)  Cover with plastic wrap and set on tray.  Set jar of jam on tray.  Write a little “good morning” note and set on front of tray.  Arrange items on your tray nicely.  Don’t forget serving utensils.  Put in fridge.

Cut pastry if needed.  Arrange on cute plate, cover with plastic wrap and set on counter.  Arrange with loaf of bread, toaster, butter, peanut butter, serving plates and utensils.

Prep your coffee for the a.m.  Include map to breakfast on your “Good Morning – Here’s the ON switch for coffee” note.

You have now prepared a lovely meal for your guests with all the breakfast food groups: protein, carbs, fruit, fat, and caffeine.

Retire to bed content in the knowledge that you are a fabulous host.

For more ideas, read: Some Like it Hot: Breakfast Solutions